Hurdles, Schmurdles
One year ago it was unknown when I would be able to get back to it.
Six months ago I worried that every hurdle I overcame would put me, nose-first, into another.
Three months ago my Ninja Neurolgist told me he didn't see why not - he'd fill out the paperwork and send it in.
Two months ago I had to postpone it because of travel plans.
One month ago I had a date - nothing could stop me now!
Three weeks ago I realized nothing could stop me, but myself.
Last week, another hurdle, I wondered if I would never be ready.
Yesterday I passed that darn driving test. (At the right DMV!)
Today I know I can generously clear anything else in my path.
Talking to Myself
Last week was rough. Beside it being a chemo week, I had the added bonus of an extra empty bank account, extra horse expenses, all of our computers being down for maintenance, a Boyfriend meltdown, more calls from creditors, and now a sick Boyfriend. Boo hoo, right?
So what to do when I felt well enough, but futz in my garden and yard? Good news is, I still know my way around a pitchfork and a wheelbarrow! I raked and moved leaves, turned compost and tended to my fledgling garden.
So Girlbert, how does your garden grow? Funny you should ask! I've harvested two, count 'em, two, tomatoes, but the little tomato plants hold the promise of more, with several green fruits to ripen, and more forthcoming, as evidenced by the many yellow flowers opening on the stems. Some of the lemon cucumbers are nearly ready to harvest, too. There's a baby bell pepper, and the very tiniest acorn squash trying to find a spot to settle down and grow. And my herbs seem to be flourishing in our recent heat wave - basil goes with everything!
But I have no idea what I'm doing, despite all the advice I've received (thank you, gardening friends!), books I've collected, and information I've gathered online. There are lots of spiderwebs, one split tomato and one with a wormhole, lots of dead leaves, and something ate my first (and highly anticipated!) cucumber already. Sometimes I think, "Will I ever enjoy the fruits of my labor? Will anything come of all of this hard work?"
Not that it's all bad. Those two tomatoes? Really. Yummy. And I love hanging outside, with the plants. And the trees. And the nature.
So I water my little plants when they seem thirsty. I carefully remove the spiderwebs, any wilted or half-eaten fruit, and brown leaves. And I admire them for their perserverance. I encourage them to do more.
This week I caught myself telling them, "Grow, little ones, grow! Bloom, little flowers, bloom! Grow tall and strong, reach for the sky! You have great things to do!"
Highly Regarded
I'd been thinking about it for months. Maybe even a year. Then the day came and went, and I didn't even acknowledge it, at least not the way I should have. I told a handful of people, "My old grey horse, Reggie, turns 30 today."
Reggie is my grand old lesson pony, left in the fabulous care of a dear friend in Colorado when I moved to Califonia in 2008. It broke my heart to have to leave him, but it would have been selfish to uproot him and haul him halfway across the country at his age.
I'd intended to write something sigificant, something memorable, something that would adequately capture the essence of the little grey horse that could. But every time I sat down to tackle the task I realized just how much there was - just how big this little grey horse really is.
So many stories, so little internet!
Nearly eleven years ago, I had just arrived in Colorado and was in desperate need of a good "baby beginner" lesson mount for my newly established Premier Riding School. A friend of a friend of a friend told me about this 19 year-old grey Arabian gelding, registered with the Purebred Arabian Horse Association as High Regard. He was described as having "a lot of use left in him" and the owner was looking to give him to a good home so that he "didn't go to waste". I'd like to say I rescued him from a nearly abandoned barn, regretfully leaving his stablemate behind, but I realize now that he saved me. Because he quickly established himself as the safest, most trustworthy, most well-trained lesson horse I've ever had the privilege to call my own. He became the anchor of my riding lesson program.
Reggie was the horse that endured bouncing, pulling and mixed signals as students learned the basics of horsemanship and balance. Not that he was a dead-head or without flaws, but I quickly learned not to judge this rough, fleabitten, arthritic, old gelding by his cover. He was smart. Too smart, sometimes. He was sensitive and opinionated (ask my vet!). And he was funny. As in, he laughed at his own jokes. This little grey horse was unmatched in the humor department, and he reminded me to lighten up when I needed it. So, I laughed with him.
He understood his job, and took it very seriously. He didn't just carry people around - he safely instilled confidence in the most timid of riders, but knew when a student had turned a corner and was ready to take it to the next level. He taught me how to teach people to ride. Over the years I watched him humble countless riding students when they needed it, including advanced show riders and adults. Just try getting on him with any inkling in your mind that you know more than he does. Sometimes an advanced adult rider wouldn't be able to get him to trot. At all. He was his own version of, "So you think you can ride?"
But he was so much more than just any lesson horse. I spent at least an hour a day with Reggie, usually six days a week, for seven years. He was my business partner and my friend. He taught my students every bit of horsemanship, from the ground up. I used to tell people, "he teaches the lessons, not me!" He didn't just teach students to ride, but to listen, as well. Myself included.
But wait, there's so much more: Reggie has touched the lives of so many, please complete his story, from your perspective, in the comments below. Whether it's a whole story, or just a quick sentence, Reg and I want to hear from you! Spread the word...there's a PRIZE involved - ten notecards with Reggie's face on them to my favorite comment before August 15, 2010!
Want To Make God Laugh?
So today didn't go according to plan.
The plan was to: A#1)Take driver's test. B#2)Pass with flying colors. C#3)Get driver's license back. D#4)Drive myself to my doctor appointments, pick up groceries, or, omigosh, go see my horse! The possibilities were endless!
Ambitious, yes, but I'm nothing if not a little determined to make up for lost time these days. More often than not, my haste to check things off my list comes at my own detriment when those plans mysteriously fall apart...
Me, through frustrated tears: "I like having a plan. Plans make me comfortable. But I'm going on two years of nothing going according to plan."
Boyfriend: "I know..." he chuckled and gave me a squeeze, "but let's learn from it, okay?"
So, I laughed too. I know that once I can laugh about it, I can learn from it, and this lesson was begging for my acknowledgement.
Sometimes, it feels like the same lesson, on repeat. I miss something, make a mistake, and the Universe just hits the Play button again. A lighted placard, patiently illuminating the words "Try Again". My own little Groundhog Day...
Sometimes I see it right away and laugh with Her. Sometimes the irony of a lesson slaps you in the face so hard, you can't even see straight right away. The lesson becomes so profoundly clear, you have to admire the creator of the lesson. And then you realize it's you. YOU put yourself in that place to learn THAT. All the while, She's begging you: Are you getting it yet?
Like when you go to take your driver's test, after over a year of not being able to go anywhere by yourself. You're on time, you have all of your paperwork. And you're at the wrong DMV. That's right - I drove to the wrong place to regain the ability to drive by myself. Hmmm...
Today I lost my patience with Her and yelled, "What the F#%*k do you want from me?"
And She shot right back, "For you to do better."
Right. I can, and I will. Three more weeks, but next time, I'll be at the right DMV.
This Is How We Do It
Current location: Aurora, IL, baby!
We're traveling again, so I'm still sorting through pictures and stories, but I've come up with a fun list of fast facts a la Girlbert and Boyfriend's Big Road Trip.
Equipped for travel and leisure with:
- 1 1991 Toyota Land Cruiser
- 1 bitchin' roof rack (more on that later)
- 1 2-person tent (cozy, with a GREAT view!)
- 1 full-sized air mattress
- 1 feather bed
- 1 blanket, set of sheets
- 2 down comforters (for desert camping, no less)
- 2 mountain bikes, helmets, shoes, tire pump, etc.
- 3 yummy pillows (because two couldn't possibly suffice)
- 1 trunk containing food and food preparation, including Grandma's cast iron pan and Boyfriend's favorite (favourite) wooden spatula (which we left at the first stop, but thankfully promised to be kept safe by our gracious host)
- 2 suitcases
- 1 propane stove
Electronically prepared with:
- 1 inverter with 4 AC plugs with which to charge all electronic devices while on the road
- 2 iPods
- 2 cameras, 1 point and shoot with video, 1 digital SLR with 2 rechargable batteries
- 2 tripods (1 Gorillapod, 1 gianormous regu-pod)
- 2 cell phones (1 smartphone; 1 waterproof, 3 year-old, flip phone - can you guess who belongs to which?)
- 3 GPS'- Garmin Forerunner for biking/running, Garmin 60Cx for bike/auto navigation, Nuvi 760 for auto navigation
- 3 laptops, 1 Windows machine, 2 linux machines that sometimes have issues finding wireless, hence the Windows... (He-hello, Tech Support?)
Just the stats, ma'am:
- Days on the road: 17
- Miles traveled: 2,615 (4,218K for the little brothers out there!)
- Number of videos taken: 43, totaling 2 GB
- Number of photographs taken: 2,388, totaling 17.9 GB (seriously!)
- Number of times we used the Windows computer: 4
- Number of times we used the linux machines: 2
- Number of grocery runs: 2
- Number of meals out: 8 (out of 51 possible meals!)
- Number of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches eaten: 12
- Percentage of crap brought along that was actually used: 32%
- Times we set up camp: once
- Bumper stickers collected: 13
- Average MPG in the Land Cruiser: 12.5
- Days we were home before getting on a plane to our next (exotic) destination: 6
- Number of doctor appointments and blood tests in those five days: 4
Apparently, this is how two nature-lovin' computer nerds traverse the western states in a Land Cruiser! First stop: Henderson, NV for Girlbert's first hairdo... stay tuned!
