Have you ever really thought about what you'd consider to be a few of your most prized possessions? And I don't mean your kids, your dog, your hubby or wife. I mean stuff. And before you get all high and mighty about not really needing any stuff, really think about it. There's got to be at least an item or two that you never thought you'd have to give up, even in the worst of conditions, isn't there?
I just wrote that animals don't count, but many of you know that I had to give up my young horse last month, due to my finanacial situation. That was tough, but I'm holding on to the idea that I may just get her back someday, so it's okay. But shortly after her departure, still more cash was needed to prevent our bank accounts from collapsing, so I began the torturous liquidation of what I'd thought of as my most prized possessions - the most treasured pieces of remaining horse tack and equipment I had left. My saddle, my show bridle, and my show harness. All hand picked for their quality and uniqueness, the things I thought I would be handing down to my children and grandchildren. Because one of them might be born with the horse bug, like me.
But alas, it's just stuff, right?
What are the things you think you'll keep until the end of time, and why?
Why is is that we don't appreciate the things we have until they are gone? Ugh - my horse is gone. To cut back expenses, I gave her away, and she's gone already. I could cry for at least a week over everything about which I'm sad or angry. But I don't. I get up each day, determined to believe that it will get better. That I'll recover from this year of my life. That I can get past all of this anger, sadness and grief. That I will be able to really recognize just how lucky I am. I have a boyfriend who loves me. I still have my grumpy old men, Reggie and Stevie. And Amy will be back, she's just going off to college for a while... The weather cleared up here in California just in time for her departure, I was able to ride her the three days in a row before she left. I came home after the first of those rides, and lamented, "Why is it that I'm finally clicking with my horse, now that she's leaving in a few days?" To which my brilliant boyfriend responded, "Because you only have a few days. You've had five years to learn how to ride her, and now that she's leaving, you will." Hmmm....
Love you, Ames. I know we've done our share of head-butting over the years, but I've never known a horse to teach me so much. There were times when I thought of you as my angry teenage daughter, thinking, "What happened to my baby girl?" I'm sorry I wasn't always open to the lesson, the hard-headed mother that I am. I have always expected a lot of you, and I know that was hard to take sometimes. You are my mirror, you are my soulmate. You be good, and I'll be back. Smooches and hugs, Mom